Derrick: My cousin Tracy, introduced our blog to one of her friends named Greg. He read a few posts and told Tracy that he found it funny that we’re trying to promote healthy relationships without discussing some of the demons holding people back from having anything resembling a relationship at all! He told us that everything from sexy commercials, music videos and easily accessible porn made it hard for him to see women as anything but sexual objects; Greg confessed to us that he’s a sex addict. Never the two to let anyone get away without A TON of questions, here’s what we got for you!
Derrick: So tell us about your sex life? Let’s get right to it! (laughs)
Kelli: This whole segment came about because I called Michael Baisden and begged him to allow me to rep my site on his show to his half a million listeners! He agreed but asked me how I would pay it forward? I told him I would feature, every Friday, some of our favorite Black bloggers! This beautiful Friday we feature a man who likes all things political! Here’s his bio as written on his site http://politeonsociety.com
“Marc W. Polite has risen to become one of the fresh new voices in the Black literary world, with his hard-hitting topics on progressive politics in the African-American community, Hip-Hop, and Technology. His work has been published in Race Talk Magazine, The African-American Daily Digest, The New England Informer, The Webster Style Magazine, and The Paper at The City College of New York. He currently resides in Harlem where he is continuing to weave together the history and stories that will generate a new brand of social awareness that is original, insightful, and unknown to most of the general public.“
Kelli: Welcome back to our final installment of “She Cheated”! Nothing to say, just read the rest and tell us what you have to say!
1. How did you meet the man you cheated with?
We were in a class together; He had a girlfriend and was a few years younger, so I was very flattered by the attention of someone his age. It started with us both being a part of a study group. Then, random texting leading to phone calls and friendship, drinks and meals from time to time and eventually sex. It was never our intention to have a sexual relationship (Well, at least, not my intention). I thought he was my intellectual equal (my husband didn’t go to college) and with him, I could talk about health, science, world events, things my husband had no interest in whatsoever! But the more we shared, we realized we had a lot in common, and after about 2 months we had sex. It went on for about 6 or 7 months.
Kelli: Today is a very special interview! I was on Twitter talking to some of my bestest buds (you know who you are!) and we were discussing the post where Derrick admits to cheating. We were discussing men and their despicable ways (yes, we were playing the role of bitter Black women for a few minutes, AND?) When one of my buds admitted that SHE’D been the despicable one in her marriage and had cheated. She made the excellent point that men and women BOTH cheat but for different (and maybe even BETTER on the ladies’ side) reasons. She discussed feeling like she wasn’t getting any attention from her husband and how she decided to seek it elsewhere. She also said that…HER HUSBAND FORGAVE HER! Now you know my nosey chocolate booty was all up in her biz and she agreed to let Derrick and I do an interview. We compiled a looong, big, DUMB list of questions. So long, in fact, that we’re splitting this interview into installments! Feel free to add your two cents cause I definitely did! Thank you Kim, for being so candid and open with Derrick and I! I hope her interview can help other women who feel like their mans attention is elsewhere ( and let’s be real, there’s a lot of us!)
Derrick: The bible has the famous saying: PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. It’s something today’s generation cannot grasp when it comes to sustaining a successful relationship. I’ve seen so many couples break-up for the most trivial things. And the excuses they have show a lack of true love and strong commitment.
“Man, she just don’t listen to me.”
“Girl, he think he tell me what to do, I’m independent.”
And the list goes on and on. Many of us pack up and run in the opposite direction instead of weathering the storm together. Why, you may ask? I say it’s because of a term I made up called, MICROWAVE LOVE. Our generation wants instant access and gratification. We’re used to things being accomplished “quick, fast, and in a hurry” which dwindles down into our relationships. Love is not the magical carpet ride many of us thought it would be. Kelli and I are a prime example! If I could get paid for each time we’ve had a big argument about a situation we couldn’t agree on which led us to consider going our separate ways, we’d both would be rich.
Kelli: People just don’t wanna stay together anymore and by people, I mean…me! In the past, none of my relationships have lasted beyond a year. That’s the point where I get tired of him and he gets tired of me and we, ceases to be! I find my relationships to be like a drive-thru. You want something to feel you up quickly, so you pull up to a man and order what you think will do the job. However, after you digest this dude, you realize he’s loaded with calories and all these things that are bad for you. Your eyes were bigger than your stomach.
Kelli: When one of our readers posed a question about virginity, Derrick and I immediately became nostalgic. Remember the days when you looked forward to having sex instead of ending the night by praying you don’t have to? Me either. (LOL) All joking aside, Derrick and I always figure that the best way to help anyone is by relaying our personal experiences. His post down there is funny but it’s time for me to give a FEMALE (and there fore better HA) opinion.
I lost my virginity when I was sixteen. It was the summer before my senior year (I graduated at 17) and I had come to the end of my sexual curiosity. I’d found a willing victim to my sexual advances and I felt quite ready for the experience. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great. I found out first time sex requires pain, sweating, rubbing and the question lingering in the air, “So, that was it?” I wasn’t in love with my boyfriend, though, of course, at the time I was sure I was. We’d been together off and on throughout high school and I trusted that he wouldn’t run around school telling the whole world what went on between us (like A LOT of young boys do while trying to show off to their friends). I’d started having boys lie about having sexual experiences with me as early as elementary school so I knew to be careful! A young male gossips and lies more than a female and that’s nothing but the truth (whether they want to admit it or not).
Derrick: Recently one of our young readers asked for advice about feeling pressured to lose her Virginity. She’s in her late teens and my humble advice to her would be as follows: if you feel “pressure” to do anything in life, don’t do it! There’s no proper way to lose your virginity but make sure it’s a natural process and with someone you love. I know folks who’ve lost their virginity as early as their elementary years to as late as adulthood! Some lost it to a random girl while others waited for their girl/boy friend to feel ready as well! If I could redo my first sexual experience, I wouldn’t. I was in my late teens when I lost my virginity and though I’d chosen the right female and the right “time” (no such thing really) I still had no idea of what I was doing.
We comprised a BLACK FOLKS’ BUCKET LIST. Before we kick the can and meet THE ULTIMATE MAN, here’s what we have to do and maybe you should too! Have fun.
Loading ...
September 3rd, 2010 
admin 
Kelli: This whole segment came about because I called 
