Kelli: There was a time in my life when I thought I’d never have children. Never be married. “Men” were non-existent. I didn’t see them anywhere and hell, even if I had seen a few I wouldn’t have known it because my view was being blocked by little boys. Then, something strange happened. I was twenty-four and looking forward to continuing my high paced life. I had plans to live in a major city, party every night and chase the dream of my childhood, acting. In a flash, I began picking up weight and having pain in my abdomen. The Doctor informed me quite blankly that I was pregnant. That was the end of my childhood though childish behavior seemed to persist.
March 26th I was blessed with a son who looked me squarely in the eye and cried for love, attention and money. What an ironic joke the Lord had played on me, I was now expected to raise a man. I looked at my son’s father and wondered how we’d ever make this work. Hence, The Black Couple was born. Calamity was all around us, everyone was having romantic issues. Women hated men and men loved and left women. How could I raise my son to be the very image I thought impossible and non-existent,a real MAN!?
Luckily, I was blessed with a partner who was asking all the same questions and just as interested in being the man his sons would aspire to emulate. Together we began this blog and together we failed at it. Life events happened and our blog took a backseat. A mentor of mine told me quite frankly, “ Excuses lead to poverty,” so no matter our reasons for failing in the beginning, we apologize and humbly begin again. We begin now as a MARRIED couple!!!!
We sealed the deal and made a commitment not only to our family but helping others see that marriage is a realistic goal for ALL of us. Marriage isn’t dead but the ideals behind it have changed. Derrick and I shall continue to explore the African-American relationship and figure out how we can put people back on the path to healthy and successful relationships! So glad to be back!
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So happy to have you back here! And so happy to hear that you guys are married now! Congratulations! I look forward to reading all of your new work, and can’t wait to see the discussions that begin as a result!
I’m glad you all are back! I’m glad Derrick is feeling well, the last time I read he was in a car accident.
Congratulations! Its great to see y’all back!
Congrats. I found your blog accidentally. I am a late 30s frustrated black woman. I have waited for a black man. I had a white man who loved me ask me to marry him. Both of our families resisted and we cowardly decided even though we had had 3 years of blissful committed love to quit. We thought we would never surmount the trouble. I regret that. Since we broke up I have had trouble and woes from black men. I have opened up my hearts to men I thought were good black men but they want to go from woman to woman to woman. They have babies by women (not me, no children) and then want to tell me that they have left those women and the children behind and they are “free” to date me. What can they give me but heartache? What can they promise me but that they will move on to another black woman when they are done with me? I ache. I try to make things work with men I hope and pray are good black men but they know how much we black women ache to be happily married and they want to deny us marriage and commitment. I have so much to give and I am tired of the rejection. One day I was walking down the street with a white male friend. He’s just a friend — I know for certain because he is a straight looking GAY man. So these black men say to me, “Why you couldn’t go with one of us?” I have tried. I actually said right back to them, “I waited and waited for you but you never showed up.” What can be done about what black men are doing? Rejecting black women to marry white women? Rejecting all marriage and commitment and hoping from one woman’s bed to another’s? Having babies with 5-6 women without ever marrying them? And I know personally 2 well education brothers with good jobs who have respectively 3 children by 3 women he (#1) never married and 6 children by 5 women he (#2) never married. What can we do to change our society and culture? Someone please write a letter to Chris Rock, to Barack Obama, to Steve Harvey, to whoever can get on the TV and explain to black men that this is not the way to do it.
So glad to see that you guys are back. Congratulations newlyweds!
-Shakiyla
congrats! Kelli and Derrick, good to see you back!!!!